True Image

The first year I formed a team for the March for Babies (then called Walk America), was in 2006. We had just found out and had not yet told anyone we were pregnant for the second time on the day of the walk because we wanted the day to be about Julianne and David.

I made buttons with this graphic of Julianne (right) and David's (left) hands for all our team members:

The 2009 March for Babies is four days away. After last year; when I had made my own team t-shirts and pocketed the expense; when I stayed up too late trying to figure out how to do it; when I burnt my finger on the iron; when they didn't transfer as well as I'd hoped... I told myself, "I won't need to do it next year - people will wear the same shirt."

2008 design on back of shirt (the front "pocket" area had the picture of Julianne & David's hands):

This year there are some new comers to our team, so I told myself, "It's not worth stressing yourself over it - who needs a team t-shirt?"

Today I talked to a gal who has a whole team walking for a friend in California who lost her 17 month-old daughter two weeks ago, after a long struggle with complications due to prematurity. This whole team is walking and the family they are doing it for is thousands of miles away. She was trying to get a t-shirt together. She said, "of course everyone is paying for their own. We want to. She's our friend."

It made me think clearer of why I signed up for the walk in the first place. Why I started a team. I may have done this walk if my life hadn't taken the path it has, but I probably never would have started my own team. I believe passionately in the cause - that's why I walk. I passionately love all my children -that's why I have a team.

It touches me to great depths that people sign up to walk on our team. That people care so much. That people are still willing to take the time to celebrate my children - especially those that we cannot hold during the celebration.

So, tonight I decided that even if I was the only person wearing a shirt that showed we had a team - then that was fine. I wanted to show it with pride.

Then, I discovered that Michael's was having a sale on their t-shirts this week. Seeing that as God speaking, a sign, or whatever, I decided to proceed with multiple shirts. My friend, Erin, called and I told her what I was up to. She offered to go to all the Michael's in the area just to find enough shirts (which she did!).

When she handed me the receipt, I kind of gulped and thought maybe I should take them back. She suggested I just ask everyone to give a small amount to help cover the cost. I thought, "Why not?" So here I am, making a team t-shirt that I already know a few people will wear. And that would be enough because they wear it for their loved ones. They wear it for me and Judson. They wear it for Veronica and Thomas... and they wear it for Julianne and David.

I may never get to send out birthday invitations for Julianne and David, watch them at a ball game, kiss their boo-boos, or hug them again. I will never get to have these tangible moments, displays where others can see what your kid is up to and share in your pride. This, however, is a day that friends and family have so generously shared with us to give us what they can of those "memories." I am so blessed to have these people in my life, just as God blessed me with FOUR beautiful children.

And so, I am going to outwardly display my love for my children by wearing a home-made shirt. It doesn't have a picture of Julianne and David on it, but in a way it does. It shows the love our twins have for each other. It shows how our twins will always stand by each other. It shows how our twins walk forward toward tomorrow - a path that will eventually bring us all back together. It shows a true image of these twins. (We didn't think about these meanings when we named our twins, but Veronica means "true image," and Thomas means "twin.") It shows Thomas and Veronica. It shows David and Julianne. It shows the amazing connection we see even now between these two sets of twins.

2009 Team Touched by Angels March for Babies T-shirt graphic: