I did it. I know it seems like something that shouldn't be something, but it is.
I fed my kids Rice Krispies...
I've always had to turn off infomercials about starving children and abused dogs, but four years ago I started turning off Rice Krispie commercials. Once I lost the ability to hold Julianne and David in my womb or in my arms, the new slew of commercials hit the air. IZ's version of "Somewhere over the Rainbow" playing while a mom and child talk about what their Rice Krispies are saying to them. TOO MUCH TO HANDLE. Those simple, beautiful moments - daily things - that I'll never be able to share with Julianne and David. And the song... really? Can't handle that version anymore either. Too beautiful. Birds fly over the rainbow... why, oh why can't I?
Since that time, I've also avoided eye contact with Snap, Crackle & Pop in the cereal aisle.
This week, I bit the bullet. I bought AND fed Rice Krispies to Thomas and Veronica. We had fun listening to them and giggling over the sound. It was enjoyable despite the little echo that's always missing. Then again, maybe it's why I've been so tired this week.
Snap. Crackle. Pop. I heard them all, but didn't do any of them. One step for cereal mascots, a giant leap for a grieving mother.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mommy's Day
It's been a rough weekend - I'm so thankful for that!
Friday night, Thomas slept maybe 2 hours... coughing, coughing, coughing. Judson tried to take him to the doctor's office, but they apparently stopped their Saturday hours in May. He seemed chipper enough, so we thought it could wait until Monday.
So Judson and the kids picked me up from work to take me south for Mother's Day weekend. Judson's body, however, had other plans and he ended up going home. Veronica could not be deterred from seeing her extended family as promised, so I drove them down myself.
Then hit Saturday night... about 10pm, after the kiddos had been sleeping a few hours. Thomas woke with a horrible scream. His ear was hurting. Of course, all he wanted was Daddy because the person who is NOT there surely has the solution. He denied the grandparents and I was a suitable choice. His poor little body was burning up. We tried to snuggle in my bed for a while. He moan and toss and cry... then, he'd stop for a moment, look at me sweetly, and say, "You're the best Mommy in the whole world. I love you, Mommy." He'd go back to moaning, then stop, "You're my snuggly princess." On and on it went until he finally slept (after a 1 am showing of Curious George). He got about 2 hours in. I took him to urgent care, he pretended he was Spiderman and spun webs around me in the where he was a champ diagnosed with a middle ear infection.
Veronica was a big help through it all. She made sure Grandma, Pa, Uncle Danny, and Uncle Thad didn't feel slighted by Thomas only wanting Mommy. She devoted her whole attention to them.
I don't like my children to be sick - especially the painful, mieserable kind. But, it happens. And when it does, it's just another chance to connect, snuggle and be a mommy... Here's to a tiring, but happy Mother's Day, and what being a Mother is all about.
Friday night, Thomas slept maybe 2 hours... coughing, coughing, coughing. Judson tried to take him to the doctor's office, but they apparently stopped their Saturday hours in May. He seemed chipper enough, so we thought it could wait until Monday.
So Judson and the kids picked me up from work to take me south for Mother's Day weekend. Judson's body, however, had other plans and he ended up going home. Veronica could not be deterred from seeing her extended family as promised, so I drove them down myself.
Then hit Saturday night... about 10pm, after the kiddos had been sleeping a few hours. Thomas woke with a horrible scream. His ear was hurting. Of course, all he wanted was Daddy because the person who is NOT there surely has the solution. He denied the grandparents and I was a suitable choice. His poor little body was burning up. We tried to snuggle in my bed for a while. He moan and toss and cry... then, he'd stop for a moment, look at me sweetly, and say, "You're the best Mommy in the whole world. I love you, Mommy." He'd go back to moaning, then stop, "You're my snuggly princess." On and on it went until he finally slept (after a 1 am showing of Curious George). He got about 2 hours in. I took him to urgent care, he pretended he was Spiderman and spun webs around me in the where he was a champ diagnosed with a middle ear infection.
Veronica was a big help through it all. She made sure Grandma, Pa, Uncle Danny, and Uncle Thad didn't feel slighted by Thomas only wanting Mommy. She devoted her whole attention to them.
I don't like my children to be sick - especially the painful, mieserable kind. But, it happens. And when it does, it's just another chance to connect, snuggle and be a mommy... Here's to a tiring, but happy Mother's Day, and what being a Mother is all about.
Friday, May 7, 2010
When The Sun Sets on Mother's Day
I have met an amazing friend who shares a slightly different, yet parallel start to Motherhood... I want to repost her blog today. She touches on the grief of infertility and loss of children - two things that are often ignored around Mother's Day.
As overwhelming it continues to be to live without holding ALL my children, it has also connected me to some other AMAZING mothers who live with the same full, wonderful, but bittersweet days of raising half your brood. And, it has drawn me to other mothers who have had to work so hard to just bring their children into the world and keep them healthy.
As I have watched other friends suffer with infertility, I know that they are already parents - their hearts are so full of love and yearning for children that they overflow with the grief for the child they cannot hold and the hopeless uncertainty that they may never hold.
I ask you to listen to what Flesworthy is saying in Mothers Day: Still Kinda Sucky and watch the video attached to it. Give your babies an extra hug, don't take them for granted, pray for those who struggle with parenthood, and don't ever ask a person, "So when are you going to get pregnant?" - you just don't know how sharp that knife is. They may have been with a sad outcome, they may want to be more than anything.
As overwhelming it continues to be to live without holding ALL my children, it has also connected me to some other AMAZING mothers who live with the same full, wonderful, but bittersweet days of raising half your brood. And, it has drawn me to other mothers who have had to work so hard to just bring their children into the world and keep them healthy.
As I have watched other friends suffer with infertility, I know that they are already parents - their hearts are so full of love and yearning for children that they overflow with the grief for the child they cannot hold and the hopeless uncertainty that they may never hold.
I ask you to listen to what Flesworthy is saying in Mothers Day: Still Kinda Sucky and watch the video attached to it. Give your babies an extra hug, don't take them for granted, pray for those who struggle with parenthood, and don't ever ask a person, "So when are you going to get pregnant?" - you just don't know how sharp that knife is. They may have been with a sad outcome, they may want to be more than anything.
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