National Prematurity Awareness Day

I committed myself to blog today through this site... http://www.bloggersunite.org/

It's such a great idea. However I've been thinking too much about preemies lately, so I'm too tired to blog about my history with prematurity. I live with the life and loss of prematurity every day, every minute.

Some people who don't know me well all too easily protect themselves when others ask me how many children I have. They answer for me, "Let's just say 2." Hmmm... I'm not comparing raising two children to raising four. But, let's compare having four children to raising four children...

• I'm sure it's physically exhausting to chase after four children every day. Every day I miss two children while at the same time be present for the two I have in the room with me every moment. Every day I wonder what I could have done differently so that I could raise four children. Every day I try to keep Julianne and David a living part of our family - despite those who choose to make them a distant memory. It's exhausting.
• Every day I work at becoming stronger - even three years later - because of the toll two premature pregnancies took on my body.
• Every night I can't go to sleep (and sometimes can't go back to sleep) until I physically make sure my earthly children are breathing.
• Someone with four children has to budget their time to get each child to their activities. I use my energy to try not to think about what activities my deceased children would be participating in now.
• Every day most mothers of four get to hug and kiss their four children. Every day, I give extra hugs to the ones I am lucky enough to hold and and I spend time sending love up to those I don't.
• Every day I am thankful for all four of my children. Every one. Every day.

Today I have another preemie to be thankful for. A close friend was beside us for the births, deaths, fear, grief and celebrations associated with all our children. She has suffered the lonely and heartbreaking road of infertility. Saturday, a mother selflessly put a preemie in her arms for adoption - one for her to call her own. Today is the first whole day she will have her new daughter at her home.

Birth and life are amazing... no matter how it occurs, no matter how early, no matter how short or how long. It is all precious.

Wordful Wednesday

V:

"I want to go where I was born." (When we mentioned visiting the nurses at the hospital then found out we couldn't due to H1N1)

"You need a maggot. This is my maggot." (Magnet)

Veronica does a lot of baby talk now - she likes to pretend she's a baby.

T:

"I've been working on the railroad, all the children come." (singing I've been Working on the Railroad.')

"You're so snugly. I'm snugly. You're comfy."

He often tells me how pretty sissy is. Sometimes he compares her things to his: "Sissy's is pretty. Mine's is cool."

"You've got a beard on your leg!" (After touching my unshaven legs.)

Both:

"I'm getting very busy!" (dizzy - when spinning around)

"It's not working!" or "It's working!" This is in reference to whether or not they can pee when they sit on the toilet. Veronica's got it just about down minus sleeping and holding BMs in. She doesn't even need us to be in the room with her - she even washes her hands independently. Thomas is making grand progress.

Like me to "act like a baby" (their own command). Then, they tell me to cry. If I won't they tell me, "Daddy's not home." I guess this is very upsetting because it makes me cry. Then, they tickle me to make me happy.

WordfFUL Wednesday

I've noticed a lot of bloggers do a "Wordless Wednesday" where they post a picture. I'm always posting pictures, so I thought I'd change it up a bit. I'm going to do the occasional "Wordful Wednesday" and use it for the little tid bits that don't make up a full story blog...

Veronica:

• Calls nightgown, "nightengale."
• She's constantly telling us what she can do when she's big. "When I'm big, I can..." drink my own coke, wear underwear all the time, use an open cup with one hand...
• Now she's also into what she's too big for - like bottles or clothes that she's out grown. "When I'm little, I can wear this!"

Thomas:

• Often says, "It's kinda like ____, but it is ___." Example: It's kinda like it's blue, but it is blue.
• Is excited about things being scary - unless they really scare him - because he understands they are not real. "Spiderman's scary, but he's not real."
• Sings the line from Chim-Chimney, "A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be," but lucky usually comes out "yucky."

Both kids:

• Use the phrase "sounds like" when they mean "looks like." That sounds like a house.
• Still use one of my favorite phrases when they want to be held, "I want to hold you."

The Letter of the Day

For the first time today we worked on writing letters. Thomas let me write 'T' hand-over-hand with him. In fact, he requested we do it over and over. Veronica was interested, but too independent to let me help her. She colored the insides of the letters.


Next thing I know, I hear Thomas reciting, "Down and across - I did it!" Sure enough he'd made a "'T'... "for me!" he said.

The first letter Thomas wrote himself... T.

Veronica let me show her how to make a 'V'. She even let me do a little physical guiding. And she made a 'V' with minimal to no help!

Veronica's first letter... V.

When Daddy got home, we gave him a big surprise... Thomas wrote T after T for him - by himself! He did one in every color he could. Veronica was happy to show off her letter "coloring" - staying independent! She does a great job staying inside the lines of the letters.

Binoculars, Bikes, and Bellydancing

Hannah and Blake came over this morning for a visit. Hannah, as always, was a little slow to warm up, so we decided to do a craft. We made binoculars out of toilet paper tubes.

Once we were warmed up, we headed outdoors for a bike ride. Each kid over 2 had their own bike - they even formed a "train" as they proceeded up and down the sidewalk.

We played in the leaves, too...

"Thomas, I can't reach the leaves. Will you help me?"

"Let me give you a boost..."

"I think I can make it."

After our cousins left we got to eat dinner at Santorini's with Aunt Peggy. The flaming meals were abundant and quite a hit with the kids. As we were gearing up to leave, the belly dancer (who had just arrived and was about 60 years old) cornered us. The kids watched but kept themselves hidden. We were standing with our bags, ready to leave. It became apparent she would not let us leave without a tip. I found a dollar and tried to get the kids to give it to her. No way. So, I laid it on the table hoping she'd stick it in her waistband as she had done with other bills. No - not for the two year olds - you must give them a proper show... she stuck it in her cleavage.

Decorating at Debi's

We were invited to Debi's today for a Halloween celebration. Deanna was there also to share the fun and fill the kids with suckers.

We decorated cookies....
...and were quite proud of the finished products...

...and found them to be delicious!

Pumpkin Patch

Daddy took a day off today to go to the pumpkin patch! This year was different than last year in that it was more crowded and our kids were less scared. It was also visibly different:

2008

2009

They were more interested in the activities that Waterman's had to offer: Bouncy houses, bike "tractors", haystacks to climb on, going inside a big "pumpkin" (below).

They were excited to see and feed the animals.

I'm not sure about the toupe this duck is wearing...

They were also interested (and not scared of) the pumpkin-eating dinosaur!

We took a hayride out to the pumpkin patch where we searched and searched...

...to find the perfect pumpkins.

After a long morning of pumpkin-fun, we refueled at Edward's drive in with some good ol' fashioned burgers and shakes - and some tunes from the juke box.