Mixed Emotions

We've had mixed emotions about it all year. From the beginning we said we weren't going to do pre-3 preschool. Only pre-4 so they get the idea before kindergarten. Then, all our friends signed up - read: all our play dates! No biggie, they won't be in school every day.

Then I met the teacher. She's awesome. Wouldn't it be great if she were their first teacher. Oh, someone else will be wonderful too - They need to be with ME!

Then, Veronica started telling us stories about her teacher, Ellie. She started playing school, talking about it a lot.

Oh, but we'd like to go to Little Flower and it starts at 7:50 am. Too early for our beauty sleepers. But wait, they start waking by 7. Hmmm...

Oh, but how to afford it? Well... since it does start so early, maybe Judson can go in a little late one day a week so I can go to work VERY early and pick them up.

Oh, but Thomas won't want to go. But, then again he LOVED Bible School.

BUT, they are my babies!!!!! I can't send them off. It would be like deserting them!!! I can teach them these things. I don't want someone else to do it. Reality check - 6 hours a week, they will still learn from me, we still have lots of time together. And, it would be nice to work a little so I can not feel bad about not working a Saturday here and there.

I was on the fence, checked with the school multiple times, hoping they'd say the class was full. No. We went for doughnuts after Mass one day and the entire staff was ecstatic, thinking we were registered, merely because they heard rumors that we'd checked into it. Well, what if it doesn't work out? What if I can't get hours during the school day? The principal assured me we'd get any money back for time bailed on. Come, on. Don't make it so easy... THEY ARE MY BABIES!!!

So, after a long talk with Judson, two weeks before the start of school, I put on my shoes to sign up. In my head it was just a trial month, no commitment. Veronica approached me, "Can I go to school today?" OK. I think I can do this.

The first day arrived. Our waking-before-7 am children vanished. They had to be woken. Not so gracefully. The picture pretty much sums their opposite views of going to school the first day.

The longest, 3 block wagon ride later, Judson carried Thomas into the classroom. Veronica, the girl who woke every day for the last two weeks getting dressed, hoping to go to school, froze outside the door.

Exhausted, defeated, unsure of ourselves and what we had done to our children, Judson and I took an even LONGER 3 block walk home. Too physically and mentally tired to do anything else with our 3 hour block of freedom, we took a nap.

At 11 am, we returned to the school, a bubbly set of kids who looked like ours, bounded out of the building. Veronica, smiling from ear to ear, barely able to contain a her mixture of pride and happiness. Thomas, leaping into Judson's arms, proclaiming, "I LOVE this school!"

Beside themselves, they did not speak the entire ride home.

Today, day number 2, they were up on their own. Veronica rushing to help pack lunches, get breakfast ready, even prepare Thomas's backpack. Thomas, back to the original ruling, he does not want to go to school. Veronica found things to busy herself in the classroom, while Thomas's grip turned steel.

Veronica jumped toward me when I came to pick them up today, gathering up her belongings as well as Thomas's. She was excited to tell me all about playing in the gym. Thomas, willing to let Veronica carry his back pack, offered, "School was great. I love school."